9 Underused Cat Names
- Mellifluous
Adorably euphonious (Euphonious: also underused).
- Professor T-Bone
Intelligently threatening.
- Sir Lady Prince Queen
Hits all the necessary cat-name buttons.
- Starfriend Barnstormer
Loyal and heroic, like all cats.
Seems like a cat ought to be named this.
- Dibbers
Were you going to sit here?
Imperial, militaristic, wobbly.
- Mrs. Flipple Nicker
Perfectly and painfully connotative.
- Hoary Marie
This one’s sort of self-explanatory.

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A note on “Struggles with Listicles:” Since listicles are destroying civilization, I’ve decided to contribute to its development as an art form. Like Homer’s epic poetry, this literary genre will define the impressions of our age for even dumber people three thousand years from now. Nos. 1-5 will appear over the next three days, and more will periodically follow. Enjoy! But not too much, or I’ll feel guilty.
Your intuition regarding “Milfoil,” evocative of an intractable freshwater ecological disaster, is purrfect. Just like cats, invasive, bedeviling, permanent.
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Ah, I should have had you write that copy!
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