7 x 2 = 14 Perpetually Alternating Items (Struggles with Listicles No. 3)

7 x 2 = 14 Perpetually Alternating Items

1. Go to the grocery store hungry.

2. Buy things you don’t need.

1. Eat clam chowder.

2. Wretch.

1. Watch Donald Trump.

2. Order an ill-fitting hat.

1. Buy a Bernie Sanders shirt.

2. Shrink it in the laundry.

1. Put on sweats.

2. Lie more comfortably on the couch.

1. See more commercials.

2. Look for a snack.

1. Cuss the limited options.

2. Get your car keys.

.

A note on “Struggles with Listicles:” Since listicles are destroying civilization, I’ve decided to contribute to its development as an art form. Like Homer’s epic poetry, this literary genre will define the impressions of our age for even dumber people three thousand years from now. Others in this series can be found here. Enjoy! But not too much, or I’ll feel guilty.

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