101 Ways to Describe Donald Trump’s Presidential Campaign

Donald Trump’s unique Presidential run has left Americans scrambling to find words to describe it. In the spirit of elevating public discourse and ensuring even-handed coverage of this unprecedented candidate, here are 101 phrases you can use to characterize one of the most fascinating campaigns in American political history:

  1. Dumpster fire
  2. Nuclear dumpster fire
  3. Civilization-ending asteroid dumpster fire
  4. Goat rodeo
  5. Pygmy goat rodeo
  6. Pygmy goat rodeo clown
  7. Train wreck
  8. Hazardous chemicals train wreck
  9. Model train wreck that angry orange stepdad blames on the Mexican maid
  10. Niagara barrel racing
  11. Disney pond skinny-dipping
  12. Chernobyl puddle splashing
  13. Cuyahoga river fire-swimming
  14. Death Valley sun-bathing
  15. Sahara Desert nudist colony & hot tub party
  16. Mount Everest heli-drop snow-boarding at night with rockets
  17. Bad
  18. Sad
  19. Yuge
  20. Toddler skateboarding
  21. Infant rollerblading
  22. Newborn pogo-sticking
  23. Fetal cactus-bouncing
  24. Spermatozoic bed-of-nails water-sliding
  25. The Hindenburg
  26. The Titanic crossed with the Hindenburg
  27. The Lusitania crossed with Avatar
  28. Anything related to Avatar
  29. The Rio Olympics
  30. The Atlanta Olympics
  31. The Munich Olympics
  32. People who live where there are Olympics
  33. Melania Trump
  34. Tiffany Trump
  35. Barron Trump
  36. Donald Trump, Jr.
  37. Donald Trump, Sr.
  38. Pie to the face
  39. Pie to the face and groin
  40. Pie to the face, groin, armpits, broken limbs, and exposed wounds
  41. Ted Cruz
  42. USS Disaster
  43. Disaster of the Seas
  44. Boaty McDisasterface
  45. Chris Christie
  46. Checkers with your five-year-old cousin
  47. Chess played by dogs
  48. The game of Go taught by Donald Trump in one-minute increments over 7000 years
  49. Moped accident
  50. Failed motorcycle stunt
  51. Three-wheeled trike-mounted mobile fireworks platform explosion
  52. Bad selfies
  53. Good selfies
  54. Selfies
  55. Hillary Clinton revenge porn
  56. Roger Ailes/Megyn Kelly fan fic
  57. Hiddleswift/Kardashian-West gun range outing
  58. Bankruptcy
  59. Two bankruptcies
  60. Four bankruptcies involving three casinos and a New York hotel
  61. The all-female Ghostbusters
  62. Ghostbusters 2
  63. Woody Allen at any point
  64. A gas leak
  65. A gas explosion
  66. That weird moment between smelling a gas leak and feeling an explosion
  67. Hillary Clinton’s email server
  68. Hillary Clinton’s WordPress blog about ponies
  69. Hillary Clinton’s personal Snapchat filter that turns everyone into sad children
  70. Cheetos
  71. Off-brand cheese puffs
  72. Off-brand cheese-puff novelty barrels
  73. Off-brand cheese-puff-powder bronzing kit on Kickstarter
  74. Your mom on Snapchat
  75. Your dad on Kik
  76. Your grandparents on 4chan
  77. Cat herding
  78. Dog shushing
  79. Hamster throwing
  80. Iguana spinning
  81. Gerbil bowling
  82. Marijuana-fueled Indian food competitive eating contest
  83. Heroin-fueled Netflix Gilmore Girls binge party & group chill
  84. Cocaine-fueled wall-to-wall convention coverage & mass suicide
  85. Pokémon GO
  86. Dungeons & Dragons REAL
  87. Sonic the Hedgehog INCARNATE
  88. Mario Brothers DISCOUNT PLUMBING
  89. Midnight in America
  90. 2 am in Ciudad Juarez
  91. 3 to 7 pm on the 405
  92. Sunday afternoon antiquing
  93. Any time, day or night, in most of Florida
  94. House on fire
  95. Trailer on fire
  96. Trailer being transported on fire
  97. People jumping from trailer being transported on fire
  98. Laughing truck driver watching people jumping from trailer being transported on fire
  99. Truck running into fried chicken restaurant because laughing driver watching people jumping from trailer being transported on fire
  100. Chicken fryer blasted out the back wall from truck running into fried chicken restaurant because laughing driver watching people jumping from trailer being transported on fire
  101. Chicken-oil-restaurant-garbage-truck-trailer-home-people-dumpster fire.

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