Important Objections to Taking Down Confederate Monuments

  • What about statues of Washington and Jefferson?
  • What about statues of Millard Fillmore and James K. Polk?
  • What about statues of mythological figures in Europe?
  • What about dinosaur statues in dinosaur museums?
  • What about sculptures that are just shapes?
  • What about sculptures that look like balloon animals?
  • What about paintings that are made out of a bunch of glued-together junk?
  • What about nice, normal paintings? Like paintings of poppies or Millard Fillmore?
  • What about paintings in your house?
  • What about elementary school artwork on fridges?
  • What about refrigerator magnets? No one talks about them.
  • What about refrigerators? They’re next.
  • What about home appliances, generally speaking?
  • What about houses—all our beautiful houses?
  • What about other houses? Different houses, I mean. Houses down the street from the other houses.
  • What about fire houses? They’re called houses, too.
  • What about safe houses? No one wants us to be safe?
  • What about some more things?
  • What about some more different things?
  • What about even other different things?
  • What about totally, obviously, clearly different things?
  • Are we just going to tear them down too?
  • How does that make any sense?!?

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